THE Great Indian Arranged Marriage!

“The GREAT Indian ARRANGED Marriage”

The biggest adventure to do is the arranged marriage. Everyone associated with the “tamasha” experiences some kind of adrenaline kick! How?
 Let me try to assemble my disoriented thoughts on this one..

The main characters of the drama are: 

Maa –
The most pivotal character in the whole exercise is the Mother of the groom/bride! 
She stresses out the maximum in all aspects and wields solid veto power.
 All approvals, rejections, hysterics etc find their origin from her.
She even uses the bait of the upcoming nuptials to get a discount from retailers. For example : “ arre, bitiya ki shaadi ki shopping yahi se karenge, thoda discount to banta hai".

Pitaji – has the most ardous task of smiling and looking authoritative whereas everyone knows who really helms the power.
 He is the finance guy and the face of the family to the world..

Relatives –
 Most interesting clan members. Whether it is bhua, fufa, masi, masa, mama, mami etc.. 
Every family definitely boasts of one black sheep who will criticise, comment, get jealous, spite people with just her/his talks and existence.

Some good relatives, can even bring forward a proposal which can be turned into a solemn bond between the families.

Bride and Groom – How do u expect to finalise a person in that 15 minute of conversation has always mesmerised me.
Its like a blindfold game of teen patti at super high stakes.

Clearing all hurdles of yes, no and maybe, the courtship period starts! 
The phone bills, internet usage, last seen on whatsapp, skype credits, blushes, smiles, gifts etc are on a all time high !!

Caterers,event planners, decorators etc- harassed people in the marriage ceremony. Most of them have reputation on stake to perform perfectly well in a high profile wedding, which ensures more business to follow.

Most important person is the ASTROLOGER !! 
yes, he is the person who has the “knowledge” of guiding parents about the favourable position of the STARS!! 
At times, i feel they dupe people of more and more money by making all proposals seem as unfavourable. ! 
“your time will start from march...; march goes.. the stars have shifted, ur time will start from may” etc and so on...

Respect : by genes or by virtue?

It is rightly said, we can choose our friends but, not our relatives! Sometimes, this saying feels right in some situation. For example : when a overbearing sarcastic aunty is breathing down your neck! When a uncle is boasting about his (idiotic and silly) son's prowess! when a doooooor ki rishtedar wants to know when ur getting married or how much are u earning.... and so on...

Am sure, all of us must have faced this question, as quoted in the title, in our lives atleast once. what makes us to respect others? is it our "sanskar" or is it because we "want" to do it? because we are genetically binded to do it or because the person's action has influenced us positively?

In case, you are getting my drift, kindly read further or else, u are most welcome to return back to facebook... :) 

My personal belief is that if one is "obliged" to respect a person, then this obligation will be superficial and temporary, just brimming on the surface. However, when the person conducts himself in such a manner which befits his stature, role and position in the relationship, then the respect is due to the virtue/actions of the individual. Whats the point in abusing a person underneath ur breath and faking a smile on his face? 

Just wanted to keep this blog brief and crisp.. do feel free to drop in ur comments and views on the topic.. would love to hear more views on this topic! 

life in a small town!

town is a place bustling with activity which is bigger than a village but leser than a full fledged city.  My native, gulbarga, although is an upcoming city but lets just call it a town.. and am a SMALL TOWN GIRL ..:) (remember the song from bachna e haseeno? )

Like a coin has 2 sides, the chinese have their yin-yang, there is a angel and a devil etc.... town living also has disadvantages and advantages.

the geographical coverage of the area is quite small, then accessibility to any area takes lesser time and commuting is easy. The traffic cannot be described in words because enough cuss words are not available to give a proper explanation..:P pedestrians and 2 wheelers dont see where they r goin.. everyon thinks that the road is their personal property. yahan se wahan se sab jagah se ppl pour on road with no road sense. they dont give a flyign fuck to their own life! after one survives these characters, then u brave nthe autorickshawallahs antics! they stop the vehicle suddenly anywhere.. their hand signs can be understood only by god! once, a driver wanted to take a right and he gave a up in the air sign !! LOL!

Standard of living is pretty cheap in comparison and everyday things are available in mom and pop stores. peace of mind is higher in a town. laid back lifestyle, no hurry- burry. maximum time for travelliin from one end to another of the city is hlf an hour :)
the market area is divided into lanes  according to the products they sell, for example: we ave chappal bazar, kirana bazar, utensil bazar etc.Onlywish the infrastructure was good enough to sustain the population. ALthough we have max ministers in the state govt from gulbarga, none of them are even bothered to uplift their own native. this is very saddening. :(

People: have u heard the quote "kue ke maindak"? - frogs of the well? yup.. small city/town ppl are just like that. they have no ambition to venture out and broaden their mindsets. they will be happy in their backward/redundant thinking and never even try to THINK BIG! according to the, the status quo is fne, why rock the boat. They are like horses with blindfolds near their eye so that they stare only in one direction.

In a town, if a girl and boy are just friends as in once-twice they are seen talking in public(even in temple) they are branded as "having a ROARING AFFAIR".  although some may argue with me that this is a human tendency to say such things, but its very very prevalent at the highest level in a town.

Funny thing abt guys here is they adore a girl from Faaarrrr.. never pluck the courage to go and actually speak a monosyllabic "hi" to her, yet they show off in front of riends as she's my girl! and if the hero cmes to know that someone else is eve thinking of eyeing her, then full fledged gang war breaks out..yes, in KANNADA! :P

Abuses: best way of de-stressing while driving (read above para to understand why :P )  ! iam a expert in 10 indian languages abuses, still my favourite is sulemaga in kannada :P :P :P

Money is abundant in a town, the business thrives well and people believe in " a rupee savd is a rupee earned".. People are very simple and down to eartth here :)

Flashy cars and lifestyle: many ppl in my city love owning big cars (i head this list).. i know one such incident wherein a person said "chal, yeh wali brand nahi hai glb mein? i will buy it " ..we just pray the road conditions improve so that we can invest in more higher (read:sports car) stuff..

GLb is cash rich !! yet, ppl stay very frugally, they believe in simple dressing up...simple living style etc.

Wish Gulbarga had places to hang out. thereis absolutely no where to go to even have a cup of coffee:(

Being Popular in a small town is a curse! at times, my dad has even got a call where i was eating panipuri! gosh! its a thrill feeling initially that wherever u go, ppl know u! but in a long run, u start craving for annonymity!

Bestest life will be staying in a small town and going to a city for he weekend..blow some money, shop and come bak!

Hope, gulbarga will develop in coming years.. along ith mindset of ppl!


Thank u for reading!