- Alcohol: Because inner demons are thirsty too!
- If the movie "Pati, Patni aur Woh" gets remade now, the title wud be "Pati, Patni aur Smartphone”!!
- English = Hello.. Spanish = Hola..French=Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa.. Chinese = Nî Hâo.
Indian= Oye %#**%#
- Best time to break a reactive news to a woman is when she has her nailpaint wet!
- Wife and Wifi.. both are capable of driving men mad when they decide to switch off.!!!
- Justice or just ice...Depends on which Bar you're in!
- Q: What do you call a responsible stranger in hindi ? A: Gair-Zimmedar!
- The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job b) not having a job
- Bread is like the sun..
Rises in the yeast and sets in the waist !
- A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistable to all women.
She turned him into a "credit card”
- You call them "cuss words"... I call them "sentence enhancers”
- People who drink to escape their problems are....Booze-dils!!
- Facebook profile is your virtual "aadhar" card!!
- What are the three most popular words in the world? Made in China..
- Who are the most important people in Indian society? 'Chaar log’!
- There are two types of people in the virtual world:
Those who have a Facebook account, and those who shouldn't have a Facebook account
- The basic necessities of modern Life: Roti, Kapda, Makaan, gaadi & free Wi-Fi.
- Breakup Story : "I always asked for a Pucchi .. And She always asked for a Gucci!
- What is Bhaang called in english???
Shiva's Regal.
- In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on wife. Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him! Husband: Yes, yes. I'm changing the battery in my camera..
- Keep your spirits up! You don’t want to spill your drink…!!
- Contrary to popular belief, God's surname is not “damnit"..!
- In India, every problem has one solution and that solution is called Jugaad..
- Follow your heart, it's the GPS of your soul!!
- Act like Pacman at parties.!!
around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone…!
- Some people are like price tags. As soon as we see them, our happiness turns into sadness.!!
- What exactly is a new year's resolution? It is a to-do list for the first week of january.
- Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.
- Badaam khane se akal aati hai.. Dhoke khane se akal aati hai.. to socho badam dhokar khane se kitne akal ayegi..
- Son: Dad, I want a new MacBook.
Dad: Beta, its pronounced "Math Book”.!
- The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how cinderella must have felt at midnight!!
- For a married guy, "Aji Sunte ho" sounds more like "Bigg Boss Chahte hai”..
- Be careful what you wear to bed at night, you never know who you'll meet in your dreams.
- A pessimist is merely someone who recognises that every silver lining is attached to a cloud…!
- Police asked the Thief: Why u went to Steal 3 times in d Same Store?
The thief Replied: Sir, I Stole 1 Dress for my wife & went to Change It Twice!
- You talk to GOD...you are religious...
GOD talks to you..you are Psychotic
- When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you’ve done well..
- Relationships start with "Can we talk?" and ends with "We need to talk.”
- Procrastination has it's good side. You always have something to do tomorrow.
- A bargain is something, you don't need, at a price you can't resist!
- After the 10th selfie , phones should automatically flash a message saying "You're not looking pretty today. Just deal with it"!
- Patience has calories, because sabar ka phaal meetha hota hai!
- There's 3 things in life everyone needs......
LOVE to make them Weak...
Alcohol to make them Strong ! & Best Friends when both things make them HIT the floor .
- Some people are like trees, they take forever to grow up.
- Start your day by reciting this prayer!
"O Mere 33 crore devi devtao. ...Mujhe zayada kuch nahi chahiye. bus aap sab ek ek Rupiya dedo”
- Ganje ko kabhi dhoka mat dena! Uski high lagegi.