One-Liners for your Facebook Status!

• Alcohol: Because inner demons are thirsty too! 
• If the movie "Pati, Patni aur Woh" gets remade now, the title wud be "Pati, Patni aur Smartphone”!!
• English = Hello.. Spanish = Hola..French=Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa.. Chinese = Nî Hâo.

   Indian= Oye %#**%# 

• Best time to break a reactive news to a woman is when she has her nailpaint wet!
• Wife and Wifi.. both are capable of driving men mad when they     decide to switch off.!!!              
• Justice or just ice...Depends on which Bar you're in!  
• Q: What do you call a responsible stranger in hindi ?   A: Gair-Zimmedar!
• The two major causes of depression are:  a) having a job   b) not having a job

 

• Bread is like the sun.. 

Rises in the yeast and sets in the waist !

• A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistable to all women.

She turned him into a "credit card”

• You call them "cuss words"... I call them "sentence enhancers”
• People who drink to escape their problems are....Booze-dils!! 
• Facebook profile is your virtual "aadhar" card!! 
• What are the three most popular words in the world?    Made in China.. 
• Who are the most important people in Indian society?  'Chaar log’!  
• There are two types of people in the virtual world:

  Those who have a Facebook account, and those who shouldn't have a         Facebook account

• The basic necessities of modern Life: Roti, Kapda, Makaan, gaadi & free Wi-Fi. 
• Breakup Story : "I always asked for a Pucchi .. And She always asked for a Gucci!
• What is Bhaang called in english???

      Shiva's Regal. 

• In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on wife.  Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!          Husband: Yes, yes. I'm changing the battery in my camera..

• Keep your spirits up! You don’t want to spill your drink…!! 
• Contrary to popular belief, God's surname is not “damnit"..! 
• In India, every problem has one solution and that solution is called Jugaad..
• Follow your heart, it's the GPS of your soul!! 
• Act like Pacman at parties.!! 

around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone…!

• Some people are like price tags. As soon as we see them, our happiness turns into sadness.!! 
• What exactly is a new year's resolution?   It is a to-do list for the first week of january. 
• Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.
• Badaam khane se akal aati hai.. Dhoke khane se akal aati hai.. to socho badam dhokar khane se kitne akal ayegi..
• Son: Dad, I want a new MacBook.

Dad: Beta, its pronounced "Math Book”.!

• The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how cinderella must have felt at midnight!! 
• For a married guy, "Aji Sunte ho" sounds more like "Bigg Boss Chahte hai”..
• Be careful what you wear to bed at night, you never know who you'll meet in your dreams.
• A pessimist is merely someone who recognises that every silver lining is attached to a cloud…! 
• Police asked the Thief: Why u went to Steal 3 times in d Same Store?

The thief Replied: Sir, I Stole 1 Dress for my wife & went to Change It Twice! 

• You talk to GOD...you are religious...

      GOD talks to you..you are Psychotic

• When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you’ve done well.. 
• Relationships start with "Can we talk?" and ends with "We need to talk.” 
• Procrastination has it's good side. You always have something to do tomorrow. 
• A bargain is something, you don't need, at a price you can't resist! 
• After the 10th selfie , phones should automatically flash a message saying "You're not looking pretty today. Just deal with it"! 
• Patience has calories, because sabar ka phaal meetha hota hai! 
• There's 3 things in life everyone needs......

     LOVE to make them Weak...

     Alcohol to make them Strong ! & Best Friends    when both things make them HIT the floor .

• Some people are like trees, they take forever to grow up.
• Start your day by reciting this prayer!

"O Mere 33 crore devi devtao. ...Mujhe zayada kuch nahi chahiye. bus aap sab ek ek Rupiya dedo” 

• Ganje ko kabhi dhoka mat dena! Uski high lagegi. 

Padmaavat Movie Review!

Surviving violent protests, set vandalism, riots, gender change (Padmavati to Padmaavat) among other things, this magnum opus has finally found its way to the theatres. 

Indian media had devoted days and nights, articles and interviews regarding the outcome, twists and turns of events and tiniest irrevalant details. Some people definitely got their days of glory!

Padmaavat is set on a historical timeline and the notions/customs existed then should be respected. You cannot cry foul over jauhar in context with today's time. I don't think Sanjay Leela Bhansali glorified it, but simply depicted a story. 

There are many scenes which gives you the  deja vu feelings about his earlier movies. 

The chandelier scene will flash Nandini and Sameer in your mind. The innumerable water bodies in the rooms and courtyard will remind you of Bajirao Mastani and Devdas. War scene will make you remember Bajirao whereas Khilji's Khalbali song (with hyper choreography) remisences the Malhari song. The rani handing over the talwar to her king.

Although the movie is magnificently made, you can't help but be little disappointed. 

I felt it like, Old wine in new bottle in few parameters. Undoubtedly the sets, cinematography, jewellery, costumes make it a visual treat, however the length of the movie makes it a little drag. Deepika's Nath was the best amongst her jewellery. 

Padmaavat belongs to Ranveer Singh for his superlative performance - his khilji is ruthless, obsessive, confident bordering on arrogance. To Shahid Kapoor for his amazing body language of a feisty rajput king and warrior. To Deepika Padukone for her ethereal looks and eyes- she rocks the climax scene. 

Sanjay Leela Bhansali surely knows how to get the best of acting from his actors. The eyes convey myriad of emotions effectively. 

Watch this for Ranveer Singh -- for his megalomania, the visual treat (as always) and because it is the current flavour of the season. 

Whatsapp! 1st task of the day !

"Trrrinnnng Triiinggg" the alarm sounded shrilly in Sheetal's ears. Opening one eye, she fumbled around for her phone and the snooze button. Those 5 minutes of  sleep between the snooze button and the next alarm are blissful.

She woke up groggily and started with the first task of the

Courtesy:Google

day. Checking her phone and its notifications. The lock screen showed snapshots of the messages in text inbox and whatsapp, however she knew better to trust them since plethora of messages are always in the muted conversations.

Her family group was named " Singhs are Kings" whereas her best friends group was "Awesome Threesome", her office group had an uninspired name "Vertical Heads" and various shopping groups had weird attributed names. 

She sighed while scrolling down the notifications. 

• 10 "good morning" messages/images from masis/chachis/mamas/grannies/mom etc. 

• "inspirational/motivational" quotes in office group.

• Tons of images of counterfeit a.ka. first copies of branded handbags and kundan jewellery in the shopping groups.

• Current bitch session/gossip and dirty talks were on in the besties group. 

"Ah, the morning routine! sometimes I think, almost a decade ago, the joy of getting 100 free SMSes from your mobile provider, on a daily basis, was beyond words. We didn't have to worry about the currency balance but simply reserve a quota for forwarding non-veggie messages and remaining to enquire if proxy could be given in a particular's class.

Now, we wake up by beautiful images which wish us a great day, enrich our gyaan, spook us by lengthy "very important for health" messages, sometimes untrue news and many other stuff. 

The notifications go up in triple digit numbers, if left unchecked even for half an hour. Courtesy, the many family and friends groups along with the shopping groups membership. 

Oh, how I personally love the mute button! Stops the continuous beeping of the incoming message! 

But, its also a blessing. Mom always helps me out, when i send her a picture of something i wish to buy. Making a plan with friends is also easy. Transferring data is easy!"


Enough of my incessant musing about whatsapp!! Time to get ready and Carpediem!!!